


End It Right

by itschaosupthere



Series: Kinktober 2019 [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Break up sex, Kinktober, Kinktober 2019, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-15 05:35:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20861093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itschaosupthere/pseuds/itschaosupthere
Summary: Kihyun can't forgive Hoseok for what he's done, but he doesn't know if he has the strength to let him go.





	End It Right

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know whether this technically counts as a "kink" per se... but - classic me - got inspired to write angst so here we are.  
It's KiHo again, but there'll be ChanBaek tomorrow ;)

Breaking Up

“Well, what are you saying then? Is this it?!”

“No-urgh… I don’t know anymore, Hoseok, alright! You can’t keep putting me in these impossible situations, it’s too fucking hard!” Kihyun kicked the leg of the coffee table. He barely felt the twinge of pain.

“I need to know where I stand.” Hoseok said in a calmer voice, though there was still bite to his words. “I’m losing my mind here. One minute it’s like everything’s fine and the next you’re screaming at me.”

“Because I can’t stop _thinking about it_!!” Kihyun threw himself off the sofa, unable to sit still any longer. He began pacing agitatedly around the small living room. “I’ll try to go to sleep and as soon as I shut my eyes, all I can see is you with _him _and I feel like I want to be sick because it hurts that much!”

“Ki…” Hoseok’s eyes fill with tears. “Kihyun, I’m sorry.”

“You can keep saying that but it won’t make it go away.” Kihyun snapped, turning around so that he couldn’t see Hoseok’s face. “I just… I just want to forget what I saw.”

Hoseok sniffed. “Well let’s move on then. We can shut the door on it and… and-”

“I can’t pretend it didn’t happen, Hoseok. Don’t try and make me.”

“At least know that I hated every second of it.” The elder boy got up from the sofa but didn’t move closer to Kihyun, didn’t dare. “I felt disgusting afterwards, like I wanted to peel my own skin off.”

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?” Kihyun finally turned back to him, to purposefully show him his sneering face. “Disgusting or not, it was still cheating.”

“Kihyun, I-”

“You know I’ve tried to forgive you. I’ve been trying _so fucking hard_ to let it go because, for god’s sake, you’re not the only one who doesn’t want to lose this relationship. But I… it’s too hard.” His voice broke on the last word but he swallowed the rise of emotion.

“Let me help you.” Hoseok bravely took a step closer. “Let me prove to you that you’re the only person I will _ever_ want to be with.”

“But we can’t keep pretending everything’s ok.” Kihyun said even as he let Hoseok come right towards him.

“We won’t. We’ll fix it.”

He let him take his hand and invade his personal space. Kihyun sighed, his breath was shaky. “What if I don’t want to fix it?” He murmured.

Hoseok jolted backwards as if electrocuted. “What?”

“What if we’re just kidding ourselves? I mean you wouldn’t have gone to that club that night if we hadn’t been arguing all day. All fucking week, let’s be honest.”

“No, Kihyun, don’t. Don’t do this.” Hoseok pressed closer again, running his hands up to Kihyun’s shoulders. His eyes were watery. “Don’t try and push me away because it’s easier. I know it’s not what you really want.”

“You don’t know what I want.” Kihyun feebly retorted.

“I do. I know you want bear hugs on cold days and just half a sugar in your tea. I know you want lie-in’s on Sundays, to cuddle under a blanket while we watch a movie. You want hazelnut chocolate, songs written about you, long car-rides with good music-”

“Hoseok, stop.” Kihyun put a hand to the other boy’s chest to lightly push him away, but Hoseok just took hold of his wrist and pulled him back in.

“You want to know that I love you and no one else, well I _do_. Ki- I-” He choked on his words.

Kihyun’s tears abruptly flooded to the surface with frantic sniffs and trembling breaths. He gasped for air but the sobs made it difficult. He crumpled against Hoseok, simultaneously wanting to run away from him and never let him go. He could feel that Hoseok was crying as well, which only made his heart ache more.

“Kihyun.” The elder boy brokenly spoke against Kihyun’s hair that he was tangling his fingers into. “Don’t leave me. I love you too much.”

Kihyun sobbed harder, clutching Hoseok’s jumper. “I-I-…” He didn’t even know what he was trying to say. The initial sadness was wearing off and he was beginning to feel loathing creep back over him. He frantically let go of Hoseok and moved away, scrubbing his tear-strewn cheeks. “I can’t keep doing this.” He muttered, voice raspy.

“Ki.” Hoseok’s entire face was going pink with crying, especially his bloodshot eyes. “Where are you going?” He gasped when Kihyun started walking away.

“I need to be alone.” Kihyun said, darting down the corridor and into the bedroom. He didn’t shut the door because one small, _stupid_, part of him still wanted Hoseok to come after him.

He sat on the bed, putting his head in his hands. His tears continued to flow but at least his breathing was under control now. Images whirled through his mind, of all the things Hoseok had mentioned just before, of long car-rides, watching movies, lazy Sundays. However, they were interspersed with that sickening picture of Hoseok in a club, pressed into an alcove while some guy fisted him through his pants and sucked on his neck. Kihyun rubbed the heels of his palms into his eye sockets as if that would help get rid of everything his mind was seeing. He just wanted it all to go away.

“Ki?”

He looked up. Hoseok stood in the doorway. He was a mess.

“Please don’t start saying sorry again.”

“I was going to ask if you wanted coffee or hot chocolate or something.”

Kihyun stared at him for a long time until he managed to say, in an eerily calm tone, “I want you to leave.”

Hoseok’s face scrunched, his entire body recoiling. “Wh-… what?”

“Get out, Hoseok. Just leave me alone.” Kihyun stood up, voice raising.

“No! I’m not going anywhere until we fix this.”

“_I told you I don’t want to fix it_!!” He screamed. “You _can’t_! You can’t fix this!”

“Yes we can, you’re just too fucking scared!!” Hoseok yelled right back. “Stop running away from me!”

Kihyun let out an aggravated growl. He was sick of being told he was running away. He wasn’t running anywhere, he was just protecting himself. It was so maddeningly easy to fall into the trap of thinking that _maybe this time _he’ll stay, _maybe this time _he’ll love you, _maybe this time _he won’t dump you for someone better. Kihyun had really, truly thought that Hoseok had broken his pattern of dickhead boyfriends, but all signs were pointing in that direction.

“Ok, so technically I cheated. But I’m still here, aren’t I?! I’m the one begging you not to go, I’m the one whose not willing to give up on us. If I actually _wanted_ to sleep with someone else, _I’d already be fucking gone_!!”

“_Then why did you do it_?!!” Kihyun shrieked, his throat beginning to hurt.

“I… I told you what happened.” Hoseok’s anger deflated. “I went out to get drunk and I did. I can barely remember anything from that night, but I know some guy started talking to me and dancing with me, the next thing I know he’s got me cornered.”

Kihyun didn’t reply, he simply folded his arms and looked away. Despite the horrific image of Hoseok getting a hand-job from some stranger, Kihyun did also remember the look on his boyfriend’s face when he’d realised Kihyun had found him and sobered up enough to shove the guy away from him, his entire frame squirming with revulsion.

Hoseok sighed and moved further into the room. “I didn’t initiate any of it. I just went along with it because I was wasted and upset. You have to believe me Ki, I never wanted this.”

“Neither did I.” Kihyun muttered though it was scarcely audible. He heaved a rattled breath. “But I still can’t stop seeing it.” He felt as if he’d run a marathon, the furious release of tears and emotion now leaving him drained. He went towards Hoseok because he needed stability and Hoseok automatically took him into his arms. “Make it go away.” He whispered.

“How?” Hoseok whispered back.

Kihyun tiredly tipped his head towards the latter. “I dunno I… just…” Their lips connected.

Kihyun melted against Hoseok’s lips, feeling him press hungrily against him, taking what he could in case it was ripped away. But Kihyun didn’t want it to end, he wanted to lose himself, forget everything until there was just kissing. He curled his fingers around Hoseok’s neck, drawing him in and parting his mouth to let the elder’s tongue fervently meet his own. He felt a stray tear run into the mix but ignored it, he ignored everything. He pulled Hoseok’s backwards, til the edge of the mattress bumped against the back of his knees.

Hoseok effortlessly lifted him up and lay him down on the bed, their lips only parting for fractions of seconds, as if the bubble would burst if they stopped kissing. Kihyun moaned and whined breathlessly as their bodies began to move against each other and their crotches brushed with every slide up and down. Hoseok was fumbling for the button on his jeans, then Kihyun’s. He pulled the younger boy’s trousers off first, throwing them onto the floor, then repeated the motion with his own. When there was only their boxers in the way, Kihyun’s cock hardened to full mast, especially when he felt Hoseok’s rub against it. He needed more.

Kihyun pulled off his t-shirt then recaptured their lips. He got Hoseok to run his hands all over his body, flicking his nipples on the way down before whipping off his underwear. The elder got his own boxers off and lay over Kihyun, letting their naked forms mould against each other as they made out. The kiss was getting sloppier now, more urgent. Hoseok bit at Kihyun’s lips and pressed hard enough to bruise. It sparked an aggressive idea in Kihyun’s mind and he pulled away only to clamp his mouth down on Hoseok’s neck, biting hard and sucking around the teeth marks.

Hoseok groaned at the sensation. He let Kihyun carry on nipping red spots into his neck as he grabbed the lube from under the pillow. Deftly flicking the cap off with one hand, he then coated his fingers and brought them down between them. Hoseok probed at the younger’s entrance, then pushed in. Kihyun released Hoseok’s neck with a sharp gasp that tailed off into a moan, he clenched around the finger inside of him, already ready and wanting more. The second finger got him gasping again. He clutched Hoseok’s shoulders, neck, the back of his head, seeking purchase on something until he settled on winding his fingers into the elder boy’s hair.

He brought their lips back together once again when Hoseok pushed a third finger in, and whined against the latter’s mouth as he fucked himself on the fingers inside him. It still wasn’t enough, but Hoseok knew that. He pulled out to wrap his hand around his cock, adding more lube, then lined up at Kihyun’s entrance. He went slowly at first but Kihyun urged him on, using his legs to wrap around Hoseok’s lower body and pull him in, despite the burn and the pressure. He was out of breath.

Hoseok gave him a moment to adjust, but that’s when their eyes met and Kihyun abruptly felt a rush of sadness sweep over him. He choked out a dry sob.

“Ki?” Hoseok panicked and began to pull out.

Kihyun wouldn’t let him. He kept his legs clamped around him, ankles locked together, forcing him to stay exactly where he was.

“Don’t stop.” He ordered.

“But-”

“Hoseok, _please_.” His eyes were beginning to sting. Kihyun gently tugged Hoseok’s head down to rest in the crook of his neck. Hoseok dropped several kisses onto the skin there as he started moving.

The pace was slow. Kihyun hugged Hoseok against him as they writhed, the sweat keeping their bodies stuck together anyway. He couldn’t look at him, but he needed him close, so close it could burn. He could have been on fire, Kihyun wasn’t sure, his body was alight with something. He panted noisily as Hoseok’s cock rammed into him. When it slid against his prostate, he cried out and dug his nails into Hoseok’s back. The elder groaned against his neck. He was mindlessly mouthing around his jawline, too preoccupied by the pleasure below to focus on kissing Kihyun properly.

His thrusts were getting faster now and Kihyun hung on for dear life, not knowing whether he was concentrating so hard on finding his release or stopping himself from crying. However, he knew his brow was furrowed and his lips were parted, stuttering whines falling from them as every shove of Hoseok’s cock brought him closer and closer to the edge. His legs flailed about as Hoseok got faster still, driving towards his own release and within another few seconds he was hollering into Kihyun’s ear and filling him with cum.

Despite the haze of gratification that must have run through him, Hoseok somehow managed to blearily find Kihyun’s cock with his hand and pump it as he rode out the last waves of his orgasm. Kihyun moaned loudly at the new sensation and continued to moan in increasing pitch as Hoseok’s hand brought him to completion and he shot cum onto both their stomachs with one final breathy shout.

Kihyun lay there feeling boneless. He was completely exhausted, both physically and mentally. Hoseok went off to get a damp cloth but Kihyun could barely register what was happening. He enjoyed the coolness of the cloth against his sweaty skin, wiping up the mess he’d made on his torso then the mess that Hoseok had made between his thighs. Hoseok threw the towel onto the floor somewhere then crawled onto the bed next to him.

“Kihyun?”

“Don’t talk.” Kihyun whispered. He rolled over onto his side. “Just hold me.”

Hoseok obediently curled up behind him, draped the cover over them, then wrapped him in his arms. He snuggled into Kihyun’s smaller frame and pecked small kisses into his hair.

“I love you so much.” He said.

Kihyun didn’t reply.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if it's strange that I really like writing KiHo yelling at each other even though I ship them so much... 
> 
> Since this had a bit of an ambiguous ending, comment whether you think they break up or stay together afterwards!


End file.
